Soo she's[erika has] been wanting to read this journal for a while now and i think its a perfect time for her to.
Yesterday was indescribable.

Nothing amazing happened but it was the little things that she did that kept the smile glued to my face. I could imagine what it would be doing if we weren't going out. Bah. I'd be having 'fun?' all ALONE.. feeling as if nobody cared.

Before now, i've never experienced the feelings that i have for her. I've never felt that somebody [other than my family. woopi doo] actually loved me like she does. She makes me feel wanted, like i have a purpose for living. If it wasn't for her i would be MISERABLE ! I wouldn't have something to look forward to between classes. Knowing that she will be there and i have someone who actually loves me.

I've only had a handfull of girlfriends my whole life, none on which i could really open up to and have fun. Erika is different. She doesn't care and neither do i . We have soo much in common and she has oppened me up to soo many great things. haha NEW food NEW shows NEW games and NEW love. I started going out with her and that week there was a dance. Now i wasn't sure if i was gonna get all up into it and dance and stuff. but she made me feel soo comfortable that i didn't give a piss... and just acted slightly retarded. And we started slow danceing to , i don't want to miss a thing, thats when i knew that i loved her. Everything came together and i just wanted to be with her the rest of my life. She just makes me feel soo good about myself.

I cant stand a minute with out her. I feel as if i'm missing somthing. I'd do just about anything to be with her. Everynight that i have to leave her and walk home.. its not easy. Its not. As soon as i get to the end of the driveway i need to put on some hXc music just to stop the tears from coming. But last night that didn't help. She asks me 'Why do you love me?' and i was speechless. I knew that i loved her soo damn much and i just couldn't express how i feel. I felt soo bad, i felt like a piss ass? , ha yea . pretty much. Now i realize that this is why i love her [ER!KA] my bay bay 10-19-07 - forever


ps. this only touches on the subject of why i love her.. there are so many other things that i can't even fit into this. the small things, that happent everday. the funny little things we do .. that other people would prolly think .. like OMG what a couple of emo looseeerrssss. What other couple walks through the woods for 30 minutes carves there names into a tree and just sits there for another 30 .. comforting eachother.. rubbing her back .. idk ....ohh and i gave her a piggy back ride but i had to do my emo flip and basically knocked her out but i new she prolly thought. what a looser .. and i felt like a retard..but.....idk..and i remember the first like million times we tried to make. out. how pathetic were we..we both felt the same .. nervous as piss... and we both felt like freaks... but i didn't care and she didn't care and idk .. .. I LOVE IT !!!!!



The only thing i hate about this relationship is. we've been livin near eachoher our whole lives.. same neighborhood same bus same school.. but we never talked. not even once!.. and i hate it ..thinking about it makes be wanna cry.... WHY NOW? why not 5 years ago?!!! we are soo perfect for eachother that its ridiculous and who knows what could have been 5 years ago. but all i care is that we are together now and I LOVE HER ! !



ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE OF A GLUE STICK!!!??? BEST GLUE STICK EVER !!!!!!!!!!